sanctuary

I've always wanted a canopy over my bed.




I'm embarrassed to admit how surprisingly calming this sheer piece of fabric is over me. It's the one place in my bustling house where I can (almost) block everyone out. Yeah... I'm easily satisfied. I love my bed.

Jamieboy, R.N.

My big brother James means the world to me. He's helped me get through so many hard times, so seeing him go through a hard time this past week was so, so painful for me. I sat in bed with him for an hour and he didn't say a single thing to me, no matter how much I tried getting him to talk. His girlfriend called me crying, worried and so lost at what to do. I really don't want to put all his business out in public, but there has just been a lot going on. I don't think my family has prayed so much or been so worried about anything. This morning I was woken up by phones ringing and my brother announcing he passed his NCLEX exam for nursing, so now all is perfectly well. Praise the Lord PRAISE THE LORD. He knows there's no way he could have done it without God's help and I'm certain God wanted him to know that. I guess we can all use a little humbling sometimes, hehe. Tears of joy this time. =)

Healer

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in you
I trust in you

I believe
You're my healer
I believe
You are all i need
I believe
You're my portion
I believe
You're more than enough for me
Jesus, you're all i need

Nothing is impossible for you
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for you
You hold my world in your hands

blue

I'm the worst at dealing with negative feelings. I didn't get the "happiest" award at SAN for no reason. The past few weeks have been so terribly trying for me. I'm fine, really, but it's just so difficult sorting through and understanding any emotion besides happy, whether it's my own feelings or another's. So tiring. I'm exhausted. What's most exhausting is that when I start feeling down, I just close everyone out. Keep to myself, get lost in my thoughts. If you were to ask me what's wrong, it'd take me a few minutes to resurface and then another few to figure out how to explain myself. Ah, but God is good (all the time) and I have the most patient and understanding boyfriend in the world. It's exhausting trying to handle things on your own, for sure. So I guess this is me publicly blogging and breaking out of my I'm-feeling-blue-and-anti-social shell. I'll spare you the details though. But prayers would definitely be appreciated. Too many tears. Too, too many.

Anywho, I'm getting LASIK done next Friday. It's exciting =) My boss pulled some strings like crazy to let me get it done for free, saving me $4200 (!!!). His only request is that I name my first child after him. Yikes. I'm not too fond of the name Gerry. -_-

Re: Grace's Housing

Today I had a conversation with my boss about commuting versus living near campus for the next four years. It resulted in a letter to my father, which includes the following statements:

"Less driving means less pollution which means less ozone loss which means less global warming which means our human population will last on this earth longer. However, none of this matters if Jesus comes back sooner."

"...more time to study instead of spending the time commuting... However, she would probably actually spend more time online with things like Facebook so she really doesn't study that much more."

"...more friends. After class they can hang out at the nearest Starbucks or bar and drink to their hearts content... Of course, having more friends means she has less time to study..."

"Please consider $40,000 a small price to pay... After all, what is money? It is the root of all sorts of evil so you might as well give it away."

He said I better not show anyone, let alone my dad. I don't know, he has some good points. Besides, it has an official letterhead and a doctor's signature. Pretty legit, I say.